2014 Goals

Photo 5Welcome, 2014! This year is going to be better than 2k(unlucky)13. 2013 definitely had some great moments, but there was a lot of heartbreak, loss, and hardships had by all. I guess this is true of every year, but for some reason it really hit me hard in 2013. Here’s to a much better 2014 of making things happen, BIG changes, new steps in life, and a new me (holla, engineering graduate!!!!!). Also, cheers to starting another new year of being committed to my health and fitness, no matter the challenges. Hopefully this year will be injury-free!!

 

With that being said, here is my list of 14 goals for 2014!

  1. Buy less coffee/make more coffee at home. It takes 7 minutes total, the same amount of time it takes to stop on the way to school. It costs on average about $3/cup at Starbucks depending on the drink (usually just black coffee, but sometimes froo-froo sugary shit…another reason to stop going). At home? Less than 30 cents a cup. If absolutely necessary, only black coffee from Sbux.
  2. Stop eating at so many restaurants so much. They aren’t even special anymore. I want the excitement (and the money…and my body…) back. I stray from my desired dietary choices when I’m out, and that’s bad.
  3. Speaking of, get my freaking will-power back. What happened to the girl who nixed ALL GRAINS for like 5 months, and most alcohol, and almost all refined sugars, and all sodas?! Could I do that at my current state? Hell-to-the-no, especially all at once. Rediscover that drive and dedication. I will not let school absorb ALL of my motivation and dedication.
  4. Travel to a new country. Tops of the list? Iceland, Ireland, Norway, Sweden, Thailand, Russia. Backpack, sleep in group hostels, take the trains, figure out public transportation systems in languages I don’t understand, walk miles and miles per day to see things that I really want to see. At the very least, check out a couple new states in the US. Get tattooed in far-away places.
  5. Graduate in May(!!!!!!!!!!)/secure a job(!!!!!!!). Don’t settle for a sub-par salary. No unpaid internships/co-ops. No positions that require a degree less than what I have. I know this sounds pretentious, but I have worked so hard to get to where I am now, and I refuse to settle. The jobs are there, it’s just a matter of getting in.
  6. Take more baths. Buy a bath pillow to enjoy them even more. Spend time reading in the tub by candlelight. Read more, period.
  7. Find an adult dog companion for my dog, and add her/him to our furry family. Support Tyler in getting a ferret (worst idea) or a bird (even worse idea) or some kind of small animal. Fix the outside balcony so Buns can roam the entire 60 feet, come Spring.
  8. Purchase a new over/under washer/dryer combo. One that doesn’t rip up our clothes. One that will not twist up clothes and wrinkle them to all hell on the spin cycle of the washer.
  9. Have realistic workout goals. Beat previous CrossFit Total, unassisted ring dips, start working towards muscle-ups, stay injury-free (especially while I’m still trying to get health insurance, faaack), cycling more than 4 HSPUs to one ABMAT, get back into pole dancing after more than a year off, ACTUALLY participate in the CrossFit Open this year (February 27th!!!!!!!!!!!!) instead of breaking bones the week before (ugh), bring that will-power and confidence back (as stated in #3) and stop getting so upset with myself when a workout doesn’t go exactly how I planned it to, and use the gym as an escape from reality instead of a burden (never forget the feeling of physically not being able to workout and how absolutely horrible it was).
  10. Keep visiting family. I tend to drop off in the middle months of the year, and I refuse to let that happen this year. Built-in bonus, this means visiting Erin, Krystal, and Shaun more!
  11. Take better care of my hair/skin/nails. Make all three look nice more often. Allot time to blowdry hair more often, or to do fancier up-dos instead of my go-to top-knot or messyass bun.
  12. Be a more compassionate friend and partner. Spend less time focusing on loss, and more time on what (and more importantly, who) is still here. Recognize, evaluate and eliminate selfish behaviors. Feel less sorry for myself. Reclaim my inner strength and peace. Stop comparing myself to others.
  13. Take more photos. Maybe attempt to do something artistic. Frame/hang some older work. Frame/hang some new work. Be proud of creating again.
  14. Learn to love the mornings. Get new window treatments (New curtains? Plantation blinds? New rod system?) to aid in waking up earlier. Make full breakfasts more frequently. Cut down on alarms (3-5, normally) and snooze-button use (3+ times per alarm). Take more morning showers. Get in a nice long morning walks with Lady. Try to wake up early enough to spend some early morning time with Tyler (key word: try).
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Tough Mudder: Dominated.

I want to start out with a little background story on my previous views of Tough Mudder. Early on in the year, March maybe, Tyler decided he was going to do Tough Mudder in September. We were talking about it at his mom’s house, and I distinctly remember telling her that I had “absolutely no desire” to do it, whatsoever. And I didn’t. Maybe a 5k Warrior Dash, but never the Tough Mudder. I was working out, but nothing intense, and I wasn’t able to run two miles straight, let alone 12. Finally, a week or two later, I decided that I was going to set this as a goal for myself to get into shape. I still didn’t really want to do it, mainly because of the distance of the course. Over the next few months, I worked my ass off at the gym, supplemented with extra running here and there, and got my diet back in check. I also started watching more videos of the obstacles online, and got progressively more and more pumped about it. The time finally came yesterday, and unlike the first attempt, we were actually about to run it!!!!!! Read through for our amazing experience!

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A Few Nights of Ranting, Put Together Semi-Coherently.

Yesterday, for the first time in a week I was actually hungry. I had a pretty filling dinner, and then I just couldn’t stop eating! It felt great, and then today I had a huge lunch/dinner. I am so beyond excited to get back into the box and workout, once I fully kick this. Being sick has got me thinking a lot. It might be all the time spent on the couch, or the cough syrup with codeine, but my brain has been very active. After the last week of hardly eating anything, I realized that I have lost a bunch of weight. When I open my mouth wide, my cheeks sink in right below the cheek bones as the jawbone flares out. My hips are protruding and my abdominal muscles have started to disappear. The bones in my shoulders are more pronounced, instead of the muscles surrounding them.

I know I talk about this a lot, but it’s so important. In the past, the sight of these things would probably have left me absolutely elated…which is pretty sad. Honestly, I look unhealthy. I look sickly, which I have been, thanks for bronchitis, strep throat, and an upper respiratory infection. But this is what I always wanted, right? Not anymore. Now, I want to be bigger. I want more mass, so I can support larger, stronger muscles and move more weight. I want to be considered “athletic.” I look at women working out at my box and idolize them for how large and toned their thighs are and how much they’re able to squat, or for how wide their lats flare out during anything overhead, or for how stable their trunks are while clean and jerking well above their body weight. “You look so tiny under all of that weight!!” is the quote said to me that will forever echo in my head. Looking tiny is something that females are supposed to want, thanks to stereotypes and outside influences. I had a past partner tell me not to work towards a 6-pack because girls with 6-packs are unattractive. You can hear women all the time saying they want to tone but don’t want to “be bulky” because muscular women are seen as unfeminine and gross. What few people realize is that it is extremely hard to “bulk up” with muscle as a female. We just don’t have the gene-stuff to enable this without an intense amount of work, way more than most are willing to put in, and way less than it takes a male. I’m willing to put in the work because I do want it. I want to be big and strong and helpful and successful and energized and exciting and adventurous. Why would you not want those for your life?

Crossfit has had more of a positive influence on my body image than I ever could have imagined. And my nutrition. And my whole life. I will never again look at magazines full of photoshopped women (oh yeah, art school kind of ruined magazines for me early-on, anyway) and want to look like them. I will never again see fad diets and fasts and cleanses for weight loss as acceptable means for transformation of my own body (read: do what you want, just my own opinion for myself). I have found something that has screwed my head on straight and I’m seeing better results than I ever have in my life doing anything else, back when I was “trying to be skinny.” Which is something I did. For a long time. Never. Effing. Again.

Anyway, the moral of this rant is that I can’t wait to get back to working out again. I have been thinking about goal-setting; I have a few longer term goals that I am still working on, but accomplished a few of the short term ones fairly recently. Deadlift over 150lbs, 10 unbroken kipping pull-ups, 1 strict pull-up, and squat my bodyweight were all of these. I had time deadlines on them, and met every single one. Set goals with a time line, make a plan to work towards them daily, and make them a reality. The payoff is so great.

Tough Mudder in 6 days! Hopefully I’ll be in full health by then. I’ll probably be pretty silent on here for the next week, since I still won’t be training in order to get back to being healthy, pre-Mudder. But you can guarantee you’ll be hearing from me afterwards. And whether I had to walk the entire course or not, I will have completed Tough freaking Mudder, another one of my goals.